Vampires Versus Fairies: The Pansy's Revenge
by blackandblood
Summary: Sequel to "Vampires Versus Fairies". On Halloween night, Edward returns from Hell with a vengeance and gathers all of his equally dumb Twilight-obsessed friends. Can Takuya and the gang overcome the annoying pansy and his cult and finally be rid of them?


**Alright, here is that sequel I've planning for awhile now. I hope you guys like it somewhat, even if you don't think it's as good as the first one. Look out for some special cameos, since I decided to have a bit of fun with this story.**

**SUGGESTION: If you haven't read the prequel, "Vampires Versus Fairies", I highly recommend reading that before you read this, or else you might be confused and not understand what's going on. Also, even though it's been a few months, the Frontier gang are the same ages as they were in the last story. Why? Because I decided to give them new birthdays and none of them fall into the time frame :p**

**Anyway, please read and review and have a good Halloween. I know I'll have fun... *leaves the house holding a pillowcase and a bloody knife* There's no way they'll deny me candy...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. Digimon doesn't belong to me and neither do any of the other characters included in this fic.**

**Vampires Versus Fairies: The Pansy's Revenge**

"Alright! It's Halloween night! Do you have any idea how long I've waited for this?" Takuya exclaimed.

His friend, Kouji, gave him a flat look. "Who cares?"

The eighteen year-old brunette shot him an angry glance. "I care! We should all care! It's Halloween night for fuck's sake! I've been planning this for about...um...how long ago was Gerald's summer costume party?"

"It was in June, so four months ago," his girlfriend, Zoe, told him.

"Right!" he replied enthusiastically.

It was seven o'clock at night, and Takuya standing outside his house with his five best friends. He had brought along three pillow-cases to hold his candy, intending to rob as many houses as he could. Real mature, Takuya... And for the record, Kouichi never managed to get together with Kaoru, Gerald's sister, and Kouji hadn't seen Jade since that party either. So both of them were alone.

"I'm excited, too," Kouichi added with a smile. "Halloween only comes once a year, and even though we're older, I still look forward to it every year."

"Me, too!" J.P. said excitedly. "Free candy!"

Tommy thought for a moment. "I just hope the people passing out candy will actually give us some. They might think we're too old to be trick-or-treating and might not give us any."

Takuya waved his hand dismissively, then began to lead his friends down the street. "Nah, there's no way they can refuse us candy! Look at our costumes! And look at mine! I look awesome!"

The leader of the group was dressed as Abel Nightroad from _Trinity Blood_. His costume consisted of a long black overcoat, a white scarf that had a red cross on each end, and a black shawl to cover his shoulders. But it was a manly, badass shawl! Nothing girly or stupid, so yeah...he looked pretty good.

"You don't have Abel's glasses or a silver wig to look like his hair, you idiot," Kouji pointed out.

"Yeah, I didn't want the wig because, well, it didn't suit me. And I tried to use my dad's reading glasses, but I kept bumping into shit." Takuya adjusted his scarf.

Zoe sighed. "You should've gotten a fake pair. You know, ones that are just for a costume and won't screw up your vision."

Takuya gave her a puzzled look. "Huh, I never even thought of that..."

Kouji rolled his eyes. "First you were Alucard and now you're Abel. What is with your obsession with anime vampires?"

"Better than dressing up as the emo of all emos," Takuya shot back indignantly. "You're dressed up as freaking Pinhead."

Kouichi chuckled. "Hey, at least he wore a real costume this time around."

It was true. Unlike the costume party they had attended during June, where Kouji had only worn a nametag that read 'Satan', he actually put on a real costume. Being the angst-ridden teenager that he was, he had decided to dress as Pinhead from _Hellraiser_. He had on the long, black pleather dress-like outfit that Pinhead wears during the movies. _Is_ it a dress? Or maybe it's a robe... But robes aren't made of pleather, are they? Anyway, along with the dress, Kouji had painted his face white and stuck actual needles in his face. Yup, he was like a human pin cushion. But he enjoyed the pain and the beads of blood had since dried up and been covered by more white face paint. Kouji's bandana was still on his head, as it was 'stuck' to it by mysterious forces. In other words, that damn bandana is incapable of coming off.

"Hey, I look damn good," Kouji growled at his brother. "Better than you. That's the worst werewolf costume I've ever seen."

The long-haired twin was right about that point. Kouichi looked rather ridiculous in his poorly made werewolf costume. He had decided to make his own costume, ditching the suave gangster outfit he had worn to the summer costume party. All his costume really consisted of was a pair of jeans, a shirt, and a werewolf mask. Well, it was more like a hood with werewolf ears and a rubber wolf-like snout over his nose and mouth. The only things he had actually bought were the snout and hood. Not very impressive and somewhat laughable.

"I think Kouichi had a good idea by making his own costume," Zoe said gently, coming to his defense. "Anyone can buy a costume, but he made his all on his own."

"He put on a pair of jeans, a shirt, and a crappy hood," Kouji remarked dryly.

Takuya grinned, looking up and down at Zoe. "But your costume is the best...I can't stop staring at you..."

Zoe was dressed in a Grim Reaper-like outfit. She wore a low-cut black dress with a slit up the right leg, and a black cloak with a hood. A silver skull necklace hung right over her cleavage, causing Takuya to drool. She was holding a plastic scythe, as she hadn't wanted to be arrested for having a 'dangerous weapon' according to the cops. Since meeting up with Takuya, she had hit him with that thing at least six times within the span of ten minutes. Now, Zoe wasn't being a bitch or anything. But it got annoying with Takuya constantly trying to convince her to have sex with him before going trick-or-treating. Bastard said that he couldn't wait until later, but he just _didn't_ want to wait. Jeez, Takuya needs to take a cold shower or something.

"I think Tommy looks good, too." Zoe smiled and gave Tommy a hug. "He looks sooo cute!"

The fifteen year-old was wearing a teddy bear costume, looking all fluffy and adorable with a blue bowtie on as well. Tommy learned a valuable lesson during the June costume party when he had gone as a penguin; girls will fawn over you if you're dressed as a cute animal. Or, at least, it worked in Tommy's case.

As they walked, they passed by several trick-or-treaters. Many of the costumes included Ichigo and Rukia from _Bleach_, Homer Simpson, Leatherface, Cartman from _South Park_, various princesses, witches, pixies, demons, devils (actual costumes, not just nametags like Kouji's), Harry Potter and his friends, and Barney the purple dinosaur. There were also _Star Wars_ characters, kids dressed up as _Sesame Street_ muppets, and there was man in a chicken costume riding a bike. Yup, the night was busy with Trick-Or-Treaters, both young and old, happy or depressed (like Kouji), and sane or crazy (again, like Kouji).

"Stop bringing me up," Kouji muttered. "I don't like to be noticed… Now, everyone watch me while I hurt myself with my needles!"

"Hey, how come no one's complimented me on my outfit?" J.P. whined as they approached the first house.

"J.P., you're dressed as a chocolate bar," Takuya pointed out. "A piece of candy isn't exactly that exciting."

J.P. was, in fact, wearing a costume that looked like an oversized candy bar. Was it an upgrade from his ridiculous Pilgrim-

"Quaker!" he snapped rudely.

Okay, okay. Quaker. Was it an upgrade from his _Quaker_ costume? Eh, who knows? Who cares for that matter?

"But it's made of real chocolate!" the hefty boy exclaimed, then took a bite off his sleeve. "See? Like Kouichi, I made my costume myself. Took me three days and several pounds of chocolate!"

Takuya chuckled and rang the doorbell. "You never cease to amaze me..."

After a moment, an elderly man in a blue bathrobe answered the door. His head was mostly bald except for a ring of whitish-gray hair on the sides. His nose was a bit big and he had rather bushy eyebrows. A bowl of candy was balanced on his zimmer-frame walker.

"Trick or treat!" The six teenagers said cheerfully.

Well, Kouji said it in a quiet, depressing voice like he normally did. He is never happy. Bastard.

The man looked down at his dog with a smile. "Look, Jesse. We got ourselves some Trick-Or-Treaters. Isn't that great?"

He spoke in a soft, high-pitched, effeminate voice with a whistle-lisp. The dog was almost as old as his owner, his two back legs not seeming as though they would support him. Instead, Jesse was standing on his front paws only.

"Okay, come get your candy," the old man said, eyeing Takuya lustfully.

Zoe, Tommy, J.P., Kouji, and Kouichi each took their candy, but when it was time for Takuya to get his, the man 'accidentally' dropped the bowl.

"Oh, my," he said with feigned shock. "I dropped the bowl. Young man, would you mind bending over and picking the candy up for me? I'll give you extra if you do. And take your time picking those up. You wouldn't want to pull one of those creamy hamstrings, would you? I can tell that you work out those tanned muscles of yours. So be careful, okay?"

"Sure," Takuya replied, bending over to retrieve the dropped candy.

The old man stared at Takuya's ass. "Holy moly. It must be my birthday."

Zoe and Kouichi exchanged glances, both of them trying to contain their laughter. As disturbing as it was, they couldn't help but find the situation to be humorous.

"Say, do you like popsicles?" the old man asked just as Takuya stood back up to give him the bowl. "I got a whole lotta them in the cellar."

"Yeah, but I gotta get going to the next house. Maybe some other time," the brunette told him, taking a piece of candy.

However, the man dumped the entire bowl into his pillowcase. "Thanks for bending over and picking that up for me. Take all the candy as a reward. Call me!"

Takuya gave him an odd look, but shrugged and happily accepted the candy. "Thanks for the candy, mister! See ya next year!"

With that, the clueless teenager walked away from the house with his friends following him. The man sighed and looked down at his dog, Jesse.

"Mmmm. That boy was a fine piece of ass, wasn't he?" he asked in his whistle-lisped voice.

Jesse nodded. "Mmmm."

The man nodded back, then looked longingly at Takuya. "Mmmm..."

_Meanwhile_

The field was calm and quiet, absent of any disturbances. Birds flew overhead, making their way towards their nests as it grew darker. All was tranquil and relaxing.

Suddenly, the ground began to rumble, and a moment later, a large split appeared. It quaked, billows of fire visible through the opening.

"And stay out, you damn Twi-tards!" an angry voice exclaimed. "I can't stand you morons anymore! Stay outta Hell and stop trying to convince me that vampires sparkle!"

Two idiots were immediately thrown out of the crater, landing on their heads. Those idiots were none other than the Twilight-crazed couple Takuya and the others had met during the summer party. Yup, the douchebag dressed as Edward Cullen and his clueless girlfriend who was pretending to be Bella. No amount of torture in Hell had shut them up about the abomination, Twilight, also known as 'The Rape of English Literature', so they had been kicked out. Not even Satan could put up with their annoying asses.

"We're back!" the asshole dressed as Edward exclaimed.

"This is my back," the idiot who thought she was Bella replied, trying to reach around to touch her own back, only to fall over. "And now I'm _on_ my back!"

"Edward! Bella!" A shirtless teenage boy ran up to them, his 'muscles' spraypainted on.

Of course, he was one of their Twilight-crazed friends. In case the shirtlessness wasn't a dead giveaway, he was known as 'Jacob'. Along with 'Jacob' there was a group with him, each of them portraying a Meyerpire. They are also known as fairies.

"Jacob!" the idiot who called himself Edward exclaimed. "What are you guys doing in the woods?"

"Where else would we be?" 'Jacob' asked. "We're Twilight fans, so we stay in the woods 24/7."

"Right. I do enjoy lurking around in the woods and hanging out in trees." 'Edward' turned serious. "I want revenge!"

'Bella' looked around vacantly. "_Revenge of the Nerds_ came out in the 90's. Or was it the 80's? Oh, I remember! I came out in 1357, the same year that crackers and cheese hit the shelves!"

"...Yeah." The sparkly douchebag shook his head. "Anyway, a few months ago, some asshole named Takuya humiliated me at a costume party. Well, I want my revenge! I want to find him and show him what a _real_ vampire is! Who's with me?"

All of his half-witted friends cheered, agreeing with the dipshit. Suddenly, a huge bottle fell out of the sky and hit 'Bella' on the head.

"I think I was just hit by a shooting star!" she said, a goofy smile on her face. "But it looks a lot like a bottle. I don't get it!"

Her stalker boyfriend grabbed it and read the label. "_Twilight Juice_? Guys! A miracle has been bestowed upon us! Let's drink the juice and see what happens!"

Of course, being the dumbasses that they were, all of them drank the crap inside. Yet their brains were so fried that they didn't even realize just how nasty the shit tasted.

"I wonder what this stuff does," the dude dressed as Assper, I mean Jasper, said.

They all suddenly sparkled tremendously, and BAM! They turned into the actual Twilight characters! Noooo! The idiot dressed as Edward Cullen had _turned into_ Edward Cullen. Oh, the horror! The same went for Bella, Jacob, Assper, I mean Jasper! Jasper. Along with Alice...and uh...the other lunatic followers of the cult known as Twilight. They had become the characters that they were dressed up as, which will make them that much more annoying.

"I am Edward Cullen!" Edward shouted, glittering in the moonlight. "I'm soooo beautiful!"

"AND I AM BELLA!" Bella exclaimed, a stupid look on her face as she struggled not to fall over the air.

Jacob grinned, admiring his underage 'muscles' that thirty year-old women fantasize about since they're into jailbait. "Let's go find that Takuya kid and get your revenge, Edward!"

Edward nodded as Bella climbed onto his back, being the useless and lazy bitch that she is. "Let's go! I have some butt to kick. But first, let me check myself in this mirror to remind myself of just how beautiful I am."

Bella played with his hair. "Edward is beautiful. Edward is beautiful. Edward is beautiful. Edward is beautiful. Edward is beautiful. Edward is beautiful. Edward is beautiful. Edward is beautiful. Edward is beautiful. Edward is beautiful. Edward is beautiful. ZOMG, EDWARD IS BEAUTIFUL!"

And that is the same amount of times that the phrase is written on each page in the book, Twilight. Okay, we get it! Edward is beautiful! But wouldn't calling him 'handsome' be a bit more manly? Then again, Edward is far from manly...

_Elsewhere_

"Damn, look at all this candy we're getting! Pretty soon, I'm gonna be as fat as J.P.!" Takuya exclaimed, hungrily jamming three pieces of candy in his mouth as he not-so-discreetly tried to peer down Zoe's low-cut bodice.

"Hey!" J.P. huffed, shoved eight pieces of candy into his own mouth. "I'm 'ot 'at!"

Kouichi smirked. "Don't worry, we're all gonna be fat after Halloween. But it's Halloween tradition."

Takuya swallowed his candy, raising an eyebrow. "What's tradition? Eating candy till we throw up?"

"No, getting fat," he replied, moving his rubber wolf snout to pop a miniature candy bar into his mouth.

They had worked quickly that night, each of their pillowcases half-empty. No, half-full! Let's not be pessimistic like our little emo over there.

"I am not emo!" Kouji growled.

Takuya snorted. "Please. You're dressed as Pinhead. You're wearing a pleather dress and you have needles sticking out of your face."

"Speaking of which, wouldn't it have been a better idea to use fake, stick-on needles?" Zoe questioned.

"No," the emo said quietly. "The pain makes me feel alive..."

Zoe and Tommy backed away from him, as they were the closest. The blond moved closer to the horny idiot known as Takuya, while Tommy was suddenly grabbed by a crazy girl in a cat costume.

"I'm takin' you home with meeee!" she exclaimed, holding him above her head with freakish strength.

"Not again," Tommy muttered as she tried to run off with him.

"Hey, get back here!" Takuya called after the girl.

Zoe swung her scythe at the girl, knocking her in the head. Tommy freed himself and ran back towards his friends, shaking his head as Zoe went to retrieve her 'weapon'.

"I swear... Why do I always get kidnapped?" he muttered.

"It's because you look adorable, that's why," Zoe pointed out as she walked back over to them. "Stop dressing like a cute animal and then maybe rabid girls won't try to steal you."

Tommy thought for a moment, then smiled. "Yeah, but I kind of like it."

Takuya smirked. "No surprise there."

"Hey! Asshole!"

The brunette blinked in confusion. "Did you guys hear something?"

Kouji nodded. "Yeah. Someone just called you an asshole. Which they're right about."

"Oh, shut up." Takuya looked around. "Who's there?"

"It is I! Edward Cullen!"

Takuya and the others looked around, yet they couldn't see the bastard. They exchanged glances and shrugged.

"Up here!"

The six of them looked up at a nearby tree. Standing on a tree branch with his idiotic girlfriend was none other than Edward.

Takuya chuckled. "I thought I heard a douchebag. I see that you're just as sparkly as ever."

"Don't mock me!" Edward whined, getting down from the tree. "I have a bone to pick with you!"

"Me? Why, is it because you got your ass handed to you during our last encounter?" the brunette quipped.

Edward glared at him while Bella looked around cluelessly. "That was a fluke! But things have changed now! For one thing, I brought along my friends! Jacob! Jasper! Alice! Everyone else! Show yourselves!"

His insane friends appeared a moment later, all of them except for Jacob glittering in the moonlight.

"Oooohhhh…" Bella smiled stupidly. "Shiny. I like shiny…"

Kouichi leaned over to Kouji and quietly whispered to him. "That girl makes Takuya look like Albert Einstein."

"No shit," his brother replied.

Edward grinned smugly. "And to top things off, I have BECOME Edward Cullen!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Takuya asked dryly. "Last time I checked, you were just an idiot in a costume. Then again, you look like a bigger douchebag now than you did before."

"I am not an idiot!" Edward cried. "Anyway, my friends and I all drank some special _Twilight Juice_! It was a gift from above! Probably the work of our God, Stephenie Meyer! The greatest author known to man!"

"I think I just died a little inside," J.P. quipped.

Zoe sighed and shook her head. "Edward, you and your moronic friends would get more intelligent reading material from the back of a cereal box. Those crossword puzzles and word seachers might even help Bella with her vocabulary. I'm pretty sure we already gave you that advice."

"Oh, Bella is waaay smarter than you, Blondie! Right, Bella?" Edward looked expectantly at Bella.

"Edward is beautiful," the dark-haired girl said dumbly.

"See?" Edward sneered.

Zoe raised and eyebrow. "Riiiight… I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

The sparkly douchebag nodded. "You do that."

Takuya let out a yawn. "So, what do you want anyway? I still have some trick-or-treating to do, and I'm not going to waste my night by standing here listening to you."

"Yeah, Takuya's stupidity might rub off onto you guys," Kouji said to Edward. "And I'm pretty sure that if she gets any stupider, she'll forget how to breathe. We're lucky that Takuya remembers."

The brunette hit him with his candy-filled pillowcase. "Oh, will you shut up?"

"So, are you ready to pay for what you did to me?" Edward said in his annoying voice. "I'll never forgive you for humiliating me and trying to tell me that Stephenie Meyer was anything but God! My friends and I have been chosen to eliminate all of you since we were given that special juice! And then we'll see who the real vampires are!"

Zoe shot Takuya a glance. "Here we go again…"

"Twilight Meyerpires aren't vampires," Takuya told Edward. "They are fairies. And Jacob isn't a werewolf. He's a puppy."

Jacob snarled at him. "A PUPPY? I'll show you!"

He pounced forward, transforming into his 'werewolf' form. However, as soon as he did, Takuya and the others burst into laughter.

"Awwww, he's a cute little Collie dog," Zoe said.

"Damn, Kouichi looks scarier than that in his stupid werewolf costume," Kouji pointed out.

Jacob growled, yet he couldn't speak in his doggie form. He could probably play fetch, though. Or get the newspaper.

Edward and his 'vampire' friends hissed, baring their non-existent fangs. Because, of course, vampires created by Stephenie Meyer are lacking in the fang department. Pathetic.

"Oh, what are you gonna do?" J.P. teased. "Stab us with forks and drink our blood?"

"Of course not! We're vegetarian vampires!" Edward exclaimed. "We only drink animal blood!"

"That's not considered as 'vegetarian'," Tommy informed him. "Animals are not plants. It's still blood."

"They don't drink human blood because they're pussies," Takuya added with a laugh.

The glittery moron glared at him. "But even though we won't be biting you or drinking your blood, we can still hurt you. Guys! Attack!"

He and his brainless friends lunged at Takuya and his group, knocking them over. Although they were pathetic excuses for vampires, they were still stronger than the Frontier group. Only barely, though.

"Assholes!" Kouichi yelled.

"Yeah! You morons made me drop my candy!" J.P. added angrily.

Takuya helped Zoe stand up, taking another not-so-discreet look down her bodice. "Zoe, are you okay?"

"Hey! I'm up here!" she snapped, pointing out the fact that he was looking at her chest rather than her face.

The brunette blinked and laughed sheepishly. "Sorry, I uh…was disoriented?"

"Give up?" Edward asked Takuya mockingly. "And I see that you're wearing another stupid costume. Face it; you'll never triumph over Twilight! Twilight has the superior vampires!"

Takuya glowered at him. "Hey! Do NOT diss Abel. He could rip you to shreds in a heartbeat. Just like Alucard could."

Edward blinked. "Who's Alucard?"

"That guy I was dressed as during that summer costume party!" he exclaimed with annoyance.

"Parties have cake sometimes," Bella speculated. "I like it when the cakes sparkly sugar crystals on them. Why? Because they glitter just like Edward!"

"So, do you give up?" Edward the fairy asked again, a haughty smirk on his face.

Before Takuya could reply with a rude comment, he was cut off by the sound of a somewhat familiar voice.

"Hey, Cullen! I'm willing to take you on!"

Everyone turned around, surprised to see a group of people standing there. All of them were immediately recognized by Takuya and his friends, while Edward and his idiotic minions were too stupid to know who they were.

"Who are you?" Edward demanded.

The guy in front who had been the one to yell to Edward grinned evilly. "Name's Alucard. Unlike you, I'm what people like to consider as a vampire."

The shimmery pansy trembled, glancing over to his crazy followers who looked just as petrified.

"I brought along some other people who don't like the idea of vampires sparkling," Alucard continued, stepping aside to show who was with him.

From the_ Underworld_ movies, Selene, Michael, and Lucian were present, Lucian giving Jacob a frightening snarl. Jacob immediately pissed himself and huddled into a ball, still in his non-intimidating Collie dog form.

Along with the _Underworld_ characters, there was Lestat from _Interview with the Vampire_, Count Orlok, the ugly, deformed vampire from _Nosferatu_, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Blade, and Zero and Kaname from _Vampire Knight_.

So all together there were six full-blooded vampires, a half-blooded vampire/vampire slayer, a vampire slayer, a lycan (werewolf), and a vampire-lycan hybrid. So that's…ten altogether. And let's name the following Twilight characters to see if there's a fair amount of punching bags-I mean, challengers. Let's resort to this Twilight book to find the character names first, though. Let's see…oh, here they are. So there's Edward, Bella, Jacob, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme, James, and Victoria. Granted, the last two are supposed to be Edward's enemies, but they need as many morons as they can get for this fight.

So that's eleven Twilight characters. Hm, eleven against ten. Not that they need any help, but let's make it fair by putting in one more person.

"I'll do it," a deep voice said.

Everyone turned around to see Itachi from_ Naruto_ emerging from the darkness. Like every other intelligent person on the planet, he couldn't stand the thought of vampires sparkling.

"I'll join the fight," he murmured, joining the new recruitments to fight Edward and his band of mindless twits.

"Itachi Uchiha?" Takuya gaped at him. "What the hell are you doing here? Better yet, what are _all_ of you doing here? I thought this was a _Digimon_ fic, for cryin' out loud. You're stealing my thunder!"

Itachi sighed. "I…had to get away from where I was. I had been caught up with the ever-going battle between ninjas and pirates. The ninjas won in the end, but I still needed to get away. There was this one pirate I fought who was loud, nasally, and never stopped eating. I'm just glad that there aren't any ninjas like that…"

Naruto suddenly stumbled out of nowhere with Sasuke. "Hey, Teme! I'm hungry! Can we get some ramen? Can we, can we, CAN WE? TEME! I'M STAAARRRVING!"

"Don't talk to me," Sasuke muttered as he held a razor-blade up to his wrist. "I'm…weighing out my options at the moment."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Jeez, you're so emo. But can we go get something to eat now? Preferably ramen? Can we, can we, CAN WE? TEME! ANSWER MEEEE!"

Itachi and the others sweat-dropped. "I stand corrected…"

Kouichi walked over to him with a funny smile. "This might sound kind of weird coming from a guy, but you have a VERY nice voice."

"Um…thank you," the ninja finally replied.

Alucard joined them, a smirk on his face. "Both of your voices are okay, but I personally think that mine sounds the best."

"Excuse me?" Kouichi and Itachi demanded at the same time.

The vampire grinned. "Well, it's obvious that I sound more badass than either of you."

Takuya leaned over to Zoe, taking another look down her bodice. "You know, their voices sound similar."

"Gee, I wonder why," Kouji muttered.

It was insane how the three of them sounded alike! I mean, it's not like any of them could've had the same voice actor, right? I swear, coincidences everywhere!

"Enough!" Edward bellowed. "I'm going to show all of you what a REAL vampire is!"

The Frontier gang backed away, not in the mood to be caught in the middle. A moment later, the Twilight idiots jumped forward to fight the supernatural group in front of them, starting a brawl. Well, the brawl actually lasted only about a minute.

Edward was destroyed by Alucard as soon as his glittery body was ridded with bullets, since Alucard has those awesome guns with special bullets designed to kill vampires and fairies. Edward was soon nothing more than a mass of blood and sparkles.

Bella was killed by Selene. Although Selene wasn't the type to murder humans, she knew the deed had to be done in order for the Twilight horror to end. And she enjoyed killing that brainless twit anyway, so it didn't affect her conscience.

Lucian had transformed into his scary lycan form and ripped Jacob the Collie dog into pieces. Jasper was brutalized by Lestat while Alice was slayed by Buffy. Rosalie was viciously slaughtered by Blade, and Emmett was destroyed by Count Orlok. Carlisle was killed by Zero and Esme was massacred by Kaname. James was ravaged by Michael, the vampire-lycan hybrid, and Victoria was finished off by Itachi. So after a mere minute, nothing of the pathetic Twi-tard characters remained other than, well, their bloody, sparkly remains.

"Yes! We did it!" Takuya exclaimed. "We defeated the idiotic Twilight losers!"

"Um, actually, _we_ did it," Buffy pointed out dryly, playing with a stake. "Now, if you don't mind, I have some...business to attend to."

"Are you screwing Angel or Spike?" Kouichi asked blatantly.

Buffy shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe both. See ya."

"And I have more vampire ass to slay," Blade told them, backflipping out of sight.

"Michael and I have matters to take care of as well," Selene added. "Let's go, Michael."

The two of them went over to the nearest car, breaking into it and hot-wiring it a moment later before driving off.

Lucian turned back into his human-like form and wiped Jacob's blood off his mouth. "Uh, that kid tasted like dog food...I need to go brush my friggen teeth."

"I need to brush my fangs," Lestat said with a smirk. "Too bad those shiny idiots lacked in that department, huh? You're not a _real_ vampire unless you have the fangs."

Those two left as well, both of them in search for the nearest store that sold toothpaste. Zero and Kaname nodded to each other, signalling that it was their time to leave also. Count Orlok simply gave Zoe a creepy stare before disappearing. The blond shuddered, his unsettling gaze sending chills up her spine.

"What, you don't want to go to prom with him?" Takuya teased, only to get hit with a sack full of candy. "Ow! I was kidding. And uh...are you going to eat those mini Twix bars? Or is J.P. going to steal those from you?"

"I'm content with my costume," J.P. sang happily, eating his own costume.

Alucard made a look of disgust as the hefty boy. "How can you humans eat that garbage?"

Kouichi nodded. "I'm with you. These candy bars are supposed to be fun-sized. What's so fun about them? The fact that they're big enough for only one friggen bite?"

Kouji was pricking himself in the face over and over again with one of his needles. "Needles are fun..."

Itachi looked at him flatly. "You remind me of my brother. And that is _not_ a compliment."

With that, he jumped away with his awesome ninja-like skill. Alucard transformed into a bunch of bats, all of which flew away. Takuya and his friends could hear his sadistic, yet sexy laughter.

"Oh, and Kouichi," his deep voice said. "I have the best voice..."

"Pig's ass you do!" the short-haired twin shot back with aggravation. "_I_ sound the best!"

"I think Itachi sounded the best," Tommy chimed in quietly.

Kouichi threw him a look. "Who asked you?"

"I wanna take him home with me!" The crazy cat-girl from earlier tried to kidnap Tommy a second time.

Zoe sighed, conking the girl over the head with her scythe to knock her out momentarily. "They never learn."

"Well, it's still a bit early to be heading home," J.P. speculated. "Those glittery dumbasses only killed about ten minutes of our time. Wanna keep Trick-Or-Treating?"

"Yeah!" everyone but Kouji replied enthusiastically.

Kouji merely waved a tiny flag with a bored look on his face. "Wooooh..."

"But first..." Takuya turned to Zoe and planted a huge kiss on her lips. "We need a good Takumi moment!"

Zoe smiled and pulled him in for another kiss, her hands running up his chest. "You look really sexy in that outfit, you know..."

"Same to you," he replied, looking at her boobs yet again.

"Okay, that's enough already!" J.P. squawked. "I'm hungry! Let's get more candy!"

Takuya rolled his eyes. "So much for being 'content'. You're always hungry, J.P. But yeah, let's get more candy."

As they walked down the street with their pillowcases, Tommy began to wonder aloud.

"What ever happened to those imbeciles after they were torn apart?" he mused.

Takuya thought for a moment, then shrugged. "I don't know, and I really don't care. Wherever they are, they can't bother us anymore."

"Still, it would be interesting to see what happened to them," Kouichi speculated.

Kouji chuckled. "Hey, let's go back to Takuya's boyfriend's house. Maybe he has some more candy hidden in his bathrobe."

"Stop being a jackass," Takuya snapped. "He was just a nice old guy who wanted to give me extra as a reward."

"Yeah, and he got a good look at your butt in the process," Zoe said with a laugh as she smacked his ass playfully.

"Be careful, Zoe," Kouichi joked. "You wouldn't want to knock him off balance and cause him to pull those creamy hamstrings of his."

Takuya growled. "You guys suck!"

_Meanwhile in Hell_

"I'll get my revenge on those bastards!" Edward cried. "I know I will!"

Satan rubbed his temples. "I kicked your asses out of Hell once, but you came back. And with more of your idiotic friends for that matter."

"I AM BELLA!" Bella exclaimed.

"Terrific. Anyway, this time around, you won't be getting through the gates so fast," Satan continued. "Last time you two morons just waltzed right through. But you skipped over the waiting period."

"What waiting period?" Edward asked, annoyed. "There are no waits for Edward Cullen!"

The Devil rolled his eyes. "Glittery douchebag... Not even I could come up with such abominations. Vampires shouldn't sparkle."

Jacob smiled. "I'm not a sparkly vampire. I'm a werewolf."

"And werewolves shouldn't look like Collie dogs!" Satan bellowed at him. "I'm almost tempted to send you to fetch me my slippers and my pipe. But I have important matters to attend to. Enjoy your wait, you Twi-tards. Because it's going to be a long one."

With that, he vanished in a billow of flames, casting Edward, Bella, and the rest of their cult into a large, white waiting room. Each of them were sat down onto one of the many chairs, surrounded by several other people waiting to enter the gates of Hell.

"Where are we?" Assper-I mean Jasper, asked.

"A room!" Bella told him. "A white room!"

Edward snorted. "No shit. Looks like a waiting room of some sort."

"And we all have numbers," Rosalie, the bitchy one, pointed out.

"What?" Edward looked at his number, his eyes bulging as he read it aloud. "My number is 968,567,864,345,236,786,975,347,234? What the fuck?"

"My number is right after yours," Jacob observed after a moment. "But what number are they on now?"

They all looked up near the ceiling of the room to see a light-up sign. Currently, the number on the sign was 2. However, it changed to 3 a second later.

"Yay! We're getting closer!" Bella said excitedly, falling out of her chair in the process. "Because three is the number after two!"

"Oh, shut up," the others grumbled, sulking in their seats.

"Hey, there's a dust bunny here!" the stupid girl on the floor said. "I shall name him Edward because ZOMG, I'm in love with Edward! Did you know that Edward is beautiful? And I love how he sparkles in the light!"

The others shot her annoyed glares. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Bella remained silent for a minute as she hoisted herself back up onto the chair. Yet immediately after, a stupid grin was plastered on her face.

"I AM BELLA!"

"God, somebody just throw me into the torture session now!" Edward yelled with frustration.

"Edward and Bella were meant to be," Bella sang. "La la la laaaa! Edward and Bella love sparkles, you see! La la la laaaa! Edward and Bella like crackers and cheese! La la la laaaa!"

The glittery douchebag hit his head against the wall over and over again. "JUST FUCKING TORTURE ME!"

Yet, they had a loooong way to go, especially since the numbers only increased by one after a week of waiting.

_Elsewhere_

"I sure hope that boy comes back, Jesse." The old man looked longingly out the window with a new bowl of candy. "I have plenty of treats for him. Mmmm..."

The dog nodded in agreement, then laid his head down to rest. His owner continued to gaze out the window, wishing that Takuya would return.

Just then, the program on the television changed to the Little League World Series. The man immediately perked up and sat down in his chair.

"Jackpot!" he said happily just as the young boys came onto the screen. "But I will find that boy...and when I do, I'll give him a popsicle!"

**And that ends our sequel! How did you guys like it? Love it? Hate it? Let me know in a review. By the way, in case you weren't sure, that perverted old guy was Herbert "The Pervert" from Family Guy. I thought it would be funny for him to have a crush on Takuya. Sure, he likes Chris in the show, and J.P. is the most like him since he's fat, but I thought it would be better to make him like Takuya since he's too stupid to pick up on these things.**


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